It's 5:30 in the morning and I am up listening to the birds sing. The reason I am up is because I have been thinkin a lot about what I heard twice yesterday. One by my best friend said by my ex and one by Arizona boy. The thing that was said was I was a lost cause... Now James was being for real, and Mike was kiddin around with me. But to be called a lost cause is not my cup of tea. Am I a lost cause because when I get mad I write and I yell and I let everything out. Am I a lost cause because I am not easy and I won't just do anything with any guy. Am I a lost cause because I don't go to church and I swear. In my opinion and the only one that truly matters. HELL NO! I am me and IF you don't like it... well if you were important to me and you don't like it then I am going to be sad but I'll move on. Maybe not move on but get to the point where I can look back and say that was a great time in my life, But this is now a new part of my life and this is better, I have learned a lot from that last part of my life and now I am stronger and a better person. Back to the lost cause thing. Now what is a lost cause with the opposite sex? Now with me a lost cause hmmm... I don't like to say lost cause because I believe everyone deserves a second or tenth chance haha. But what does it for me with guys is when they are not a gentleman I am a lady and call me old fashion but I like to have my guy take me on dates and open my door and when we are watchin a movie he wants to cuddle and he doesn't want to make out. I want to be called beautiful and not sexy, I want a guy to look at my face and not my boobs, and I want a guy to say you look gorgeous and not damn girl you lookin hot. Also I don't want a guy that is like I am so hot for you right now, You are just so bad, What are you wearing? EW like really? That is not the way a girl should be treated. I wish I lived in the oldin days so I could have a man court me and all of the amazing stuff guys used to do. Now I am not sayin all guys aren't old fashion but most aren't. The movie the note book is one of my absolute favorites! How amazingly cute they are together and how he doesn't kiss her on the first date and how he walks her home and how they are so madly in love with each other that nothing not even a marriage can keep them apart! I need a guy who is old fashion but is not controlling and won't let me talk to other guys cause that just won't happen with me. Sorry but girls don't like me... So I have more guy friends than girl friends. WAIT what am I saying!! I don't need a guy!!! I am so happy being independent!!! I don't want even a thing with a guy right now! All I want are friends. I just want to be me and happy!
I am lots of things I wasn't in November,December, January, and even February. But most of all I am Independent, Strong, Single, And not a lost cause!